I was a mom for a whole 2 weeks when I realized I had a super power. It was just me and my breast pump in the living room. My worn-out olive green couch cradled me, an already worn-out mama striving to keep newborn twins alive. My husband was on the other side of the house, putting the babies down for a nap after I breastfed them. Pumping after breastfeeding was my best attempt at increasing my milk supply. And while all of that might seem pretty supernatural, that is not the power I am talking about.
It was actually my nostril’s ability in that moment to notice a poopy diaper from across the house. Whether the scent magically wafted in my direction or I instinctively knew to sniff it out, I cannot say. But I do know that when I asked my husband to investigate, he said, “there’s no way, I don’t smell anything. Plus, I just changed them.”
But my noticing nose knew. This was not the smell of a dirty diaper in the garbage, nor the phantom smell that seems to linger in your nose’s memory after changing a blowout. This was fresh.
Sure enough, one of the twins began to squall with discomfort. My husband swooped in to the rescue and everyone was back to their nap in no time.
As I untethered myself from my pump, I shook my head at the surprising strength to notice the diaper so quickly.
It almost felt like too much power.
Power Corrupted
If you follow my podcast, you know that I am passionate about staying present. It’s not just about staying off my phone and playing with my kids. Psalms 16:11 says, “In the presence of the Lord, there is fullness of joy.” I want that fullness of joy. Becoming a present-mom is both about my own fulfillment and also for my family’s well-being. I want to learn how to be content in all circumstances by staying present with Jesus in my everyday life.
And I have learned that one of the best practices for staying present is noticing the little things.
Early in motherhood, noticing is an act of survival. You are the first to notice potential choking hazards or foods that will harm your child. You notice the different ways your baby cries and meet her needs accordingly. And as your child grows, you make it a priority to notice the many ways she could get hurt, emotionally or physically.
Then, at some point, this super-strength backfires. I think it happens around the time you realize you need to take better care of yourself. You start to notice the threats to your own comfort as much as your child’s. You notice when you are over-stimulated by your husband’s chewing. You notice how cluttered the house is with all the baby gear and toys. You notice how the whining, the sibling bickering, and the vent fan over the kitchen stove all have an uncanny ability to ratchet up your mom rage. Or maybe that is just me.
So you pick up your phone and escape into social media where you notice that your friend is sunbathing on her beach vacation (swipe). You neighbor is posting about her child’s latest sports achievement (swipe). That influencer you follow is sharing how she keeps her million-dollar minimalist home tidy (swipe). Suddenly, your noticing powers morph into different abilities called envy and comparison.
Perhaps most of us are already experts at staying present, we just live in the moment for all the wrong things.
Sometimes my noticing powers seem overwhelming, like laser-vision, and I wonder, “What if my ability turns me into a super villain instead of a hero?” If I am not careful, I could become a negative-Nancy or a critical-Karen and my pessimistic opinion about everyone and everything would be unstoppable.
With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility
Thankfully, submitting to God’s Word can regenerate the good back into our noticing powers.
Colossians 3:2 says: “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”(CSB)
Later this chapter reveals that the earthly things include critical negativity like envy, and greed, anger, slander.
Philippians 4:8 says it this way: “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” (NLT)
Other versions of this verse say “dwell on these things” (CSB) or “focus your mind on these things” (CEB).
God wouldn’t put these commands in Scripture if He didn’t make a way for us to follow them! With daily dependence on the Holy Spirit, we can train our noticing powers for good. We can become upward noticers.
Practicing Upward Focus
If you are still skeptical about positive thinking, you are not alone. For me, it sometimes feels like one more thing on the to-do list. Not only do I have to wrangle the summer gear spilling out in the garage, but now I have to keep a mental list of how much joy it brings my family?
But as I study God’s word on this topic, I am learning that noticing is not so much a hassle as it is a treasure hunt.
It’s focusing on the fullness of my smile, not the flab under my swimsuit.
It’s cheering on my friend who finished the 1/2 marathon, even as celebrate my own win of walking once around the block once a day!
It’s grinning when I see a glass of root beer half full-because I know there’s more room for the ice cream float on top.
It’s pausing to notice how little my child’s hands are. I can’t remember who recommended this, but when I get frustrated with my son’s behavior, I remember his hands will never be this small again. It softens my heart and puts this moment of aggravation into perspective.
When I paying attention to what makes me (and my family) come alive, not just the things that threaten my comfort, I am leveraging my noticing powers for good, and that helps me to stay present.
Of course, the art of staying present involves so much more than a Pollyanna positivity. Psalm 107:43 says “Let whoever is wise pay attention to these things and consider the Lord’s acts of faithful love.” As people of God’s kingdom, we should train our focus to notice how God is working too!
How the Lord greets you with a rainbow or a blooming apple tree on a day your heart is aching.
How He provides a domino of opportunities for you to build a friendship with your neighbor so you can share the hope of the gospel with her.
How you are more hungry for God’s Word today than you were last month.
How He sparks creativity in your parenting, and suddenly the morning routine is a lot smoother.
How your preschool son starts asking questions about Jesus and you find you are both learning more about God’s love together.
Noticing the working of the Holy Spirit is always a life-giving practice. The key-word here is practice.
Peace Rules
In any superhero story, the over-arching mission is to restore peace to the community. That is exactly what happens when moms use their noticing superpowers for good. In fact, both scripture passages mentioned above promise that, when you live as an upward noticer, you receive peace in 3 ways:
First, the peace of Christ will rule in your heart (Colossians 3:15 ESV). When you set our mind on things above, you are decluttering the throne of your heart from anything else trying to be in charge. There is nothing else I want to rule my emotions and relationships more than God’s peace.
Secondly, the peace of God will guard your heart and mind (Philippians 4:7). Noticing the good is an act of naming peace as your bodyguard. How profound is it to know that peace is both on the throne and standing on the front lines as protector over your soul! An upward thinker has a unique sense of security knowing the peace of God is fighting off her enemies named discouragement, insecurity, and doubt.
Third, you will experience the Lord’s peace-filled presence with you. Philippians 4:9 says when you focus on what is good, perfect, true, and praiseworthy then “…the God of peace will be with you” (CSB) In other words, noticing the presence of good things in your life can lead to noticing the the presence of God in your life. And we know from Psalm 16:11 that in His presence is fullness of joy.
Like it or not, mama, you have laser vision. This power can punch holes, or bring peace. This power can tear down or build up. You can shut this power down through distraction and escapism, or you can activate it in the most life-giving way. Your satisfaction and joy are bound to flourish when you intentionally notice the good and holy and playful gifts in each day. If you choose to be an upward noticer, you might just find it a little easier to stay present in a life you love.
That is a power to be thankful for.