We are 4 months and 1 week into this pregnancy. Almost half-way there! February 16-22 was an incredible week of encouragement for Shane and me. In honor of it, I am going to post our Bump-progress update a little differently. The “Lullaby of the week” is without a doubt In the Secret of His Presence, a beautiful hymn written by Ellen Goreh, a native of India, in 1883. I personally like this version by Sandra McCracken. The lyrics narrate the story of our week quite well:
In the secret of His presence how my soul delights to hide!
Oh, how precious are the lessons which I learn at Jesus’ side!
Bump progress: So we forgot to take an official pump picture… AGAIN!
I am learning SO much about pregnancy and babies, it is astounding. This week, our babies are approximately the size of salsa jars (Tacos anyone?). They are also starting to put some fat on their bones. This encourages me since the last ultrasound reveal such skeletal creatures. Yes, I understand that God is putting their bones together piece by piece…it is incredible! It’s also a little creepy when they look like the “Screamer”.
So, I am pumped that our babies are developing some adipose tissue, which only serves as another reason for this “whovian” to don the Timelord shirt.
I also learned they are practicing the grasping motor skill. Shane and I have been praying for their souls to “grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ” (Ephesians 3:18)
Earthly cares can never vex me, neither trials lay me low;
For when Satan comes to tempt me, to the secret place I go.
Answered prayers: A long standing prayer of Shane’s (we are talking years) was answered. God provided a godly man for a prominent position in a specific arena of Shane’s life. In addition, God gave us the fortitude to face the challenge of Shane’s truck breaking down. We were definitely tempted to worry about finances, especially with a house and the twins on the way. After praying about it, God renewed our faith in His sovereignty. We have confidence He will provide for all of our needs, or teach us gently to do without!
When my soul is faint and thirsty, ’neath the shadow of His wing
There is cool and pleasant shelter, and a fresh and crystal spring;
Sleep: My sleep routine is toss, turn, doze, wake up to my stuffy nose whining, pee while I’m awake, crash back into bed, repeat…. Despite this chaotic routine, God has provided me with ample rest and energy to enjoy each day He gives me.
And my Savior rests beside me, as we hold communion sweet:
If I tried, I could not utter what He says when thus we meet.
Movement: FINALLY! My soul has been longing for this moment for many weeks.
On Sunday morning, I felt a beautiful little kick from the kid on the left. It was a faint feeling, but unmistakable when it happened again 15 minutes later on the same side (unless the twins are already switching places on me). Later in the week I felt a similar feeling on the right.
I really have to be still and “listening” to the feeling in my tummy to sense it though. It reminds me to also be still to listen to the “quickening” of the Holy Spirit, that I might enjoy community with Him.
Only this I know: I tell Him all my doubts, my griefs and fears;
Oh, how patiently He listens! and my drooping soul He cheers:
Encouraging truth: Many of you know I have had intense fears about making it to term and delivering these babies safely. This week, I had a wonderful dream. It may sound a bit fantastical, but for me it was very real and encouraging.
In my dream, Jesus delivered our babies- a boy and a girl- safely. It was painful, but I was completely at peace knowing I was in the hands of my Lord and Savior. A sense of calm washed over me like waves in reminder that Jesus has the power to heal and restore everything after the delivery. I woke up so refreshed. It was a clear and resounding reminder that I AM, in fact, in the hands of my savior and Jesus does have the power to heal whatever may happen. He is in control of the delivery of these babies, because He will be guiding my body and the doctors to his glory. I truly feel a huge weight is lifted off my shoulders.
Do you think He ne’er reproves me? What a false Friend He would be,
If He never, never told me of the sins which He must see,
Lessons Learned: In circumstances of great pressure, humanity often falls into old habits, whether for good or bad. This week, God revealed how my own selfishness and pride take over when I feel stressed. I tend to withdraw into a hole of my bed-covers and iPhone, watching pointless movie previews or scrolling through Facebook for hours. Unknowingly, it shapes my thoughts and behavior for the rest of the day (and not in a good way). I KNOW God has better plans for the time He has given me. I am grateful that He doesn’t “leave me” in my sin.
Would you like to know the sweetness of the secret of the Lord?
Go and hide beneath His shadow: this shall then be your reward;
Food Cravings: I realized this week that all my food aversions are gone (except the ones I hated before I was pregnant… like cream cheese: YUCK!) Those first few months were difficult to eat anything… almost NOTHING was appetizing. Of course, I made myself eat… I have 2 people depending on my intake, appetite or no appetite. Now, I could blink in the direction of food and the “womb service” kicks in, making me salivate like a great-Dane.
I think my relationship with God goes through stages like that. There are seasons when I just don’t “crave” the things of God, like reading the Bible, praying, or meeting with other Christians. I must remember to keep up the “intake” in those seasons of a low spiritual appetite. Not just for my spiritual health, but also for others. How sweet is the season when I begin to truly crave those moments with Jesus again.
And whene’er you leave the silence of that happy meeting place,
You must mind and bear the image of the Master in your face.
Later in the week, I had a terrible dream (the dreams are really gearing up this week). Shane and I both worked quickly in prayer and breathing exercises to calm my emotions down, so as not to pump needless traumatic emotions into my babies. I have so much reassurance knowing I can trust my great God and the husband he has given me. In those moments, I do recall all the faithfulness of Jesus.
My Lullaby of the week poses a question: “would you like to know the sweetness of the secret of the Lord?” It is not a secret, but those of us who have a personal relationship with Jesus do treasure it deeply in our hearts. I have written more about my experience in becoming a Christ-follower here. My prayer is that you would not miss an opportunity to know the truth of peace and assurance that Jesus brings when you surrender to Him.
We should find out the genders of our babies soon! I will keep you posted, hopefully with a little more punctuality. In the meantime, take a look around the blog and leave a comment about how God is impacting your life!